chapter zero: background

i. about me

hello, my name’s adinia candrarupa, which the name is based on adina (meaning: delicate, gentle). on the other hand, candrarupa is the name of the protagonist in a book titled happy ending machine by adelina ayu. her full name is candrarupa andara senayan. amazing, is it not?

i’m an assigned female at birth (afab). however, i identify myself as a demigirl, which i provide the explanation here. this identity-finding journey has led me to e/eir/em to become my pronouns.

i’m already of age, pushing the first quarter of the century. so, i wish to bond a friendship with those who reach at least 18 or 19 years old. i apologize for eliminating those who are younger than it.

ii. how to read my pronouns

i choose neopronouns e/eir/em to address me, instead of using either my name or pronouns that i never wanted to be address with.

e can be pronounced as either e (as in letter E) or ay (as in A or “say”). however, in my case, i prefer being addressed with the first one, as it rhymes with “he” or “she”.

eir is basically “their” without the sound –th.

em same goes with the eir.

p.s: the use of these neopronouns also applies to eirs and emself or eirself. i don’t have preferences for emself/eirself yet, so i’m okay with either way!

iii. me & my disabilities

i intend to write this part as information that i think you might need to know. i don’t demand any grand action from any of my friends. all i wish is to have a safe friendship with all of you.

here are the list of my disabilities (yes, plural):

• i’m using a pair of glasses to help me see things. each of them is minus 5 and 6, but i forget which one is 5 and 6.
• adhd/attention deficit, hyperactive disorder: inattentive type.
• suspected bipolar disorder & autism

as a person with disabilities, i have a few preferences to address me:

• a person who wears glasses
• an adhd person
• never labeled me with either bipolar or autism because i haven’t been diagnosed yet

iv. entertainments

i set my interests in a few korean groups and soloists, and my interests can change according to my preferences. for now, i’m into: oh my girl, ab6ix, tws, illit, dayoung, and gyubin.

other than music, i enjoy watching movies and series throughout the world. these works leave good impression to me:

• dead poets society
• legally blonde
• all of us are dead
• hidden love
• teasing master takagi-san
• the tale of lady ok
• the scarecrow

despite the works above, i pay lots of attention to one actor, which is cho yihyun as i have become her fan. ♥︎

lastly from the entertainments section, but not least, i find comfort in reading books. there are a few titles i would love to recommend, but it’ll be another long list. so, i will only recommend you one title: the appletree animal agency (2025) by katya balen.

v. do not follow

these are the people i do not wish to come around my safe space:

• those who show support and/or casually mention in positive tone on boycotted items according to bds movement
• those who are ableist and use disabilities as an insult and a joke, including: schizophrenia, npd, and shifting the meaning of odgj/orang dengan gangguan jiwa to be odgj/orang dengan gen jawa
• those who use class and race as an insult and a joke, including sdm rendah and jawir
• those who are NOT feminists or the allies of feminists
• those who are queerphobic or NOT an ally of the queer community
• those who casually mention sexual abuser in a neutral and/or positive tone
• those who compliments someone else in a sexual way, such as: “mau pipis,” “MUNCRAT,” or “aduh, keras,” without the person’s consent, including to a public figure

vi. trigger & content warnings

content warnings: disturbing food, snake, cockroach, spoiler (will be added if necessary)

trigger warnings: sexual harassment, sexual assault, rape, rapist, rape jokes, rape threat, blood, violence, harassment, NCII (non-consensual intimate image), mention of any of those (will be added if necessary)

any queries you might not be able to say out loud: alterspring